For many parents, mornings can feel like a storm of emotions: tears at drop-off, little hands clinging tight, the look of fear that breaks your heart as you walk away. Separation anxiety isn’t just hard for children — it’s deeply emotional for parents too.
But here’s something I want you to know: your child’s clinginess isn’t a sign that you’ve done something wrong. It’s a sign that your bond is strong. Separation anxiety simply means your child’s nervous system is still learning that goodbyes can be safe, and love still exists even when you’re apart.
In the Emotion Garden framework, we help children understand this through play and story. One of our tools is the Trust Tree — a sturdy oak that reminds children that their roots (connection to parents) are still there, even when their branches (independence) stretch toward new experiences.
Through art, rhythm, and gentle rituals, children begin to symbolically “plant” their sense of safety inside themselves. We might create a heart-shaped leaf to represent Mom’s love, or a glowing seed that stays with them when they’re at school. These small, imaginal acts help transform the panic of separation into the confidence of belonging.
Create a short, loving goodbye ritual (a hug, a mantra, a drawing tucked in their pocket)
Avoid sneaking out — it breaks trust even if it feels easier in the moment
Reassure them you always return, and point out examples of successful separations
Stay calm — your steady energy helps their nervous system regulate
Celebrate every small step toward independence
With time, your child learns that goodbyes aren’t forever — they’re the doorway to new growth.
And every time you reunite, their internal garden of safety grows a little stronger.
By Dr. Tam, The Children’s Brain Doctor